Close Your Eyes

Close your eyes

and remember who you are:

the one who looked out at this world

before being told you were a girl or boy,

before being told your clothes needed to match

or how to behave at the dinner table,

before being told you were good or bad.

Close your eyes

and feel the light inside you that has never gone out

even when shame or loss or addiction did its best to extinguish you,

when betrayal or guilt became a dark story impossible to put down . . .

feel the light that shined freely

before you became a victim

or a perpetrator,

before you had a resume or credit card debt or insomnia,

before you believed your thoughts were the right thoughts.

Close your eyes

and feel how long you’ve been waiting . . .

waiting till you have enough money in the bank,

the car you deserve,

a partner who appreciates you,

a career that is also a passion.

Or maybe any job at all.

Maybe you’ve been waiting for the divorce to go through

or your health to improve

or your prison term to end.

Then you’ll be free.

Then you’ll be happy.

Then your real life will begin,

not this mixed bag of a life

with its uncomfortable uncertainty,

messy misunderstandings,

anxiety that pins you to your mattress in the morning.

Close your eyes

and I’ll tell you a secret:

yes.

Yes to doubt or disappointment or grief.

Yes to confusion or boredom or frustration.

Rage? Yes. Resistance? Yes.

Yes to what’s arising,

yes to what’s passing away

even if the yes is so quiet

it’s simply a brave silence.

Yes is unconditional love.

Yes is God.

Yes is you.

Close your eyes

and feel the yes inside you.

Yes is a light—

a light older than stardust

and younger than daffodils,

a light that burns away past and future,

a light that burns away you—

the “you” you used to be,

the “you” you thought you’d be by now,

the “you” other people think you are.

It is a light that burns away your stories

of why it can’t be you who is surprised, sometimes,

in the smallest moments,

by a causeless joy,

by a love that expands from the inside out,

by a peace beyond reason or circumstance,

by a grace that reveals itself 
in every shimmering atom.

Open your eyes.

Feel the light

you already are.

Be alive.
Be.